Wise Mind is an idea from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) that helps us to integrate the analytical or logical parts of our minds with the emotional part of our mind. Neither is “good” nor “bad” but we can recognize the truth in each perspective or point of view. Wise Mind helps us to find the balance we need to make effective choices.
In her book, DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Marsha Linehan, PhD lists many different ways in which we can access our Wise Mind.
I love her ideas and I also like for my clients to think about what works for them so I frequently ask, “What helps you to find your own Wise Mind?” or “How do you know when you are in Wise Mind?” There’s no right or wrong answer.
Below you’ll find just a few suggestions that have helped my clients get to that place where they can make wise and healthy decisions based on their values and life worth living goals.
• Allow yourself to become really quiet for five minutes and listen for your own wisdom.
• Pray—and, again, listen.
• Imagine what a wise person would do in a similar situation.
• Go for a long walk in nature.
• Make a list of pros and cons of acting from a place of Emotion Mind.
• Be creative. Write, paint, dance, or play an instrument.
• Wait. Wait an hour or two before you do something out of Emotion Mind.
• Call someone for help. You could call a therapist, sponsor, friend, or help line. Talking it out can help us get back into Wise Mind sooner rather than later.
• Ask yourself, “Am I in Wise Mind now?” Keep asking until you are in Wise Mind.
• Do something “thinky” like a puzzle, word search, or logic problem.
• Go to a place that bring you a lot of peace.
• Use a guided meditation to help you pace your breathing.
• Make a list of 25 things you’re thankful for.
• Journal.
• Practice self-compassion.
• Embrace a nonjudgmental stance.
• Do something kind for another person.
Wise Mind isn’t really a final destination. There are times when we are in Reasonable Mind or Emotional Mind for valid reasons. We aren’t looking for some kind of all-knowing perfection when we are using this skill. You aren’t a robot and Marsha Linehan doesn’t expect you or anyone else to be perfectly wise at any given moment.
Practicing this skill once or twice a day can make a difference in how you think or feel.
Is this a skill or idea that has helped you? What ideas help you to access your own Wise Mind?
Want more? Check out these resources about BPD and DBT: