Borderline personality disorder is a mental health diagnosis that can make it difficult for someone to cope with a variety of emotions and thoughts. Many people with borderline personality disorder live in a constant state of worry or fear over real or perceived abandonment. The diagnosis also leaves people significantly more likely to practice self-harm or die by suicide.
The good news is that, with treatment and support, a person with borderline personality disorder can find new ways of coping and feel better. The not-so-good news is that professional help may be exceedingly difficult to find in many areas of the world. Self-help strategies and tools can often assist a person in coping with their their most distressing symptoms.
Below you’ll find seven ways that people who have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder can help themselves.
Identify Diagnostic Tools
Unless you are a mental health professional, you probably aren't going to be in a position to diagnose yourself or a loved one with borderline personality disorder. Only a medical professional can accurately give that diagnosis. However, the internet has made it easy for you to take online screenings that can help give you a better idea of whether or not you have a borderline personality disorder.
You can find other diagnostic tools by Googling queries such as: “depression screening online” or “anxiety test online.” I also like to recommend researcher Dr. Kristin Neff’s online questionnaire about being self-compassionate.
Although these tools may not be perfect, they may be a way for you to learn more about yourself and your symptoms. Just make sure the test you take is a reputable one and created based on best scientific and medical practices.
You may also want to check out this article on the pros and cons of self-diagnosing.
Mindfulness Techniques
Mindfulness is a process by which individuals are encouraged to be more "in the moment." It involves being present in things that are happening at any given second, rather than being absorbed in events of the past, future, or our own mind. It also means observing things that are occurring, and sensations that you are feeling, without being too judgmental, critical, or analytical.
Mindfulness, for most of us, is notoriously difficult and requires a great deal of practice and conscious observation. Other practices, like meditation, can help one achieve this state of mind. However, when it comes to mental illnesses in general, and borderline personality disorder specifically, there is good news, as mindfulness can help someone achieve piece and ease their symptoms.
Some people find that something as simple as coloring with pencils or markers can be a way to practice mindfulness.
Furthermore, mindfulness is a core component of dialectical behavior therapy, a specific type of component that has shown promise when it comes to treating borderline personality disorder. It can help individuals regulate their emotions, develop emotional discipline, and concentrate more on their feelings and emotions. It can also help to calm feelings of anxiety and depression.
Perhaps most importantly, mindfulness can help someone change their brain chemistry, thinking patterns, and emotional capacity. For people who are learning to cope with the symptoms of borderline personality disorder, this can be an important skill.
Meditation
Meditation, like mindfulness, can be incredibly helpful to someone with borderline personality disorder. Indeed, meditation and mindfulness often go hand in hand.
Meditation comes with many specific benefits. Meditation is a practice that involves slowing down, concentrating on thoughts, breathing, or a chant in order to ease one's mind. There are many different types of meditations, and all of these can have different impacts.
Many studies show the benefits of meditation on mental health in general. It can ease anxiety and symptoms of depression and make people feel more at ease and at peace. This, in turn, can regulate emotional intensity, calm emotional outbursts, and help people have healthier relationships - this, of course, can have a major impact on people with borderline personality disorder.
Indeed, as noted by a scientific review, individuals who have borderline personality disorder and meditate often show improvements over a number of symptoms.
Podcasts
I’ve loved podcasts for years and know that I learn a lot when I listen to each episode. You can find podcasts about topics that range from mindfulness, healthy relationships, self-care, and coping with anxiety or depression. If you have an interest, there a podcast waiting for you.
Here are some of the podcasts I like to recommend to my clients and their families.
(And if you have a favorite podcast to recommend to me, please let me know. You can write to me at amanda@hopeforbpd.com.)
Distract Yourself
Sometimes, the best thing you can do when you are in a moment of crisis is to distract yourself from whatever pain you are in. This can be exceptionally difficult, but there's good news: With practice, it gets easier.
How can you distract yourself? Thankfully, there are a variety of different ways.
What's a hobby that you love? Are you a knitter? Puzzles? Drawing? Writing? Find a project and throw yourself into it.
Is there work that you can do, either around your house or for your job?
This distraction can be tough. It can be painful, difficult to do. It can take time in order to learn how to distract yourself and determine what hobby or method works best. However, the important thing is that you try. You may find that engaging in a hobby is the best way to get yourself through a moment of crisis or an intense period of emotional pain. When that moment passes - and they do pass - you can reevaluate. But sometimes, the key is to push yourself through a problematic experience and bring yourself into a better place.
DBT Skills Training
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is an evidence-based treatment that has been a life-saving therapy for people all over the world. Unfortunately, there are still many parts of the world where DBT is not available or may not be affordable.
If you cannot get access to a therapist or are on a waiting list for DBT, online skills training may provide you with an ideal way of helping to learn the skills you need.
Online skills training can you help you learn:
ways to soothe yourself when you’re upset.
how to control your thoughts and emotions.
what to do when you feel empty, bored, or even self-destructive.
how you to be a better, healthier version of you.
Seek Online Support
One of the many positives of the advent of the digital world that we live in is that there is no shortage of resources for people who are looking for help. Indeed, there are many Facebook pages and groups for people who are looking for support and information.
I also love to recommend #BPDChat on Twitter. It’s an encouraging and hopeful resource for many people who are seeking connection and encouragement.
These resources can be very helpful in a variety of ways, including helping you share your experiences, discuss coping techniques, and finding people who will be compassionate and validating. Please remember that you aren't alone, and you should find other people to share stories of healing and hope.
Online support, however, should never be confused with treatment with a licensed health care professional. Some online communities are positive and hopeful places to seek support and information but other web sites may contain information that is inaccurate and even harmful.
Note: If you are currently in a mental health crisis, please call your local emergency services or consider reaching out to to someone who is in a position to help. That next phone call or email may be the one that connects you to the resources you need the most.
If you want to learn more about borderline personality disorder, I can strongly recommend these books:
• The Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Planner for Families
• Coping with BPD: DBT and CBT Skills to Soothe the Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder