The FAST skills were developed by psychologist Marsha M. Linehan in the 1980s as a part of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).
The FAST skills remind us that we can increase our self-respect by:
F = being fair to ourselves as well as others
A = not apologizing or not over-apologizing
S = sticking to our values and beliefs
T = telling the truth
The other Interpersonal Effectiveness skills in DBT are GIVE (to help us improve our relationships with others) and DEAR MAN (a skill to help us get more of what we want or need).
If you are looking for ways to practice the FAST skill, consider the wisdom of:
• Giving ourselves permission to be in healthy and safe relationships
• Saying no when we need to say no
• Saying yes when we don’t often say yes
• Asking for a second opinion
• Expressing concerns without being aggressive or mean
• Giving ourselves the time to have personal space before making a big decision
• Allowing ourselves the opportunity to make mistakes
• Stating preferences for movies, restaurants, and activities when we’re with friends or family members
• Telling someone what we think while being kind and compassionate
• Advocating for a cause or organization that is important to us
• Letting others know how we want to be treated
• Asking someone to listen to us for five minutes without interrupting
• Prioritizing treatment or therapy
• Forgiving ourselves
• Not apologizing for getting the rest we need to be our best
• Thinking about how we can reach our goals
• Being honest with ourselves about things we could improve
• Creating and sticking to a safety plan
• Not apologizing for crying
• Letting go of self-judgment
• Deciding that we are “good enough”
• Taking care of ourselves by making our beds in the morning
• Living within a budget we establish
• Earning a living wage at a job we enjoy
• Not apologizing for needing help
• Asking ourselves, “What are my values in this relationship?”
• Thinking about how often we apologize
• Attending church or religious services
• Letting go of being demanding or controlling in relationships
• Treating others in a way that we also want to be treated
• Not apologizing for our thoughts or emotions
• Asking for additional help before there’s a crisis or emergency
Remember: There’s no perfect or right way to use these skills. What works best for you? How are the FAST skills helping you to create a life worth living?
For additional information about DBT, check out:
DBT Self-Help