“Chronic feelings of emptiness” is one of the nine DSM-5 criteria for borderline personality disorder. The experience of emptiness is an important criterion to target in treatment because the symptom can be devastating for many individuals.

For some people emptiness might also feel like:

• loneliness
• dissatisfaction
• boredom
• sadness
• apathy
• disconnection

We know that emptiness may drive other unwanted emotions (like hopelessness or despair) as well as depression. It’s not uncommon for people who feel empty to also think about suicide or self-harming behaviors. Emptiness may also be a catalyst for many people with borderline personality disorder to engage in addictive behaviors.

Some people explain their experience of emptiness by saying, “I never fit in,” “I don’t like who I am,” or “I always seem to feel alone—even when I’m with those who care about me.” Others may say, “I can’t figure out what to do with my life.”

What causes feelings of emptiness?

People may feel empty because they:

• have few or no meaningful relationships
• live or work in an environment where they are repeatedly misunderstood or invalidated
• don’t have a consistent sense of who they are
• have experienced an important loss
• feel unworthy or undeserving
• are faced with an existential crisis
• lack important academic or vocational goals
• don’t believe they are important

As a dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) specialist, I know that there are many ways my clients can help themselves and reduce feelings of emptiness. Together we can work on helping individuals with borderline personality disorder and their families create healthier relationships and find purpose in life. Establishing and working toward goals can help give people a sense of accomplishment. When people understand that life can be meaningful—even if some emotional pain remains—feelings of emptiness are reduced.

For a lot of people, reducing emptiness may be a goal that takes several years to reach. Individuals with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and their family members are always encouraged to be hopeful—and patient.

People with borderline personality disorder may need additional, structured support to reach their goals. This support may come from family members, friends, therapists, or even coaches. Coaches can help with goals related to organization, finances, and even career planning. The professional roles of mentor and mentee may also be beneficial for individuals with BPD.

DBT is an evidence-based treatment that can help people create a life worth living, feel better about themselves, and give individuals the practical tools they need to reduce feelings of emptiness.

For more information about dialectical behavior therapy, please check out:

• DBT Self-Help

• Understanding BPD Triggers

• 63 Reasons for Staying Alive

• Coping with Abandonment Fears