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Are you someone who feels detached or separated from your surroundings? Do you often have moments where things don’t seem real—especially when life is stressful? Perhaps people tell you that you’re not paying attention or daydreaming when you’re really trying hard to stay connected?
These may be symptoms of dissociation. (Ask your therapist, doctor, or nurse practitioner for more information if you have questions.)
Some people with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder dissociate often, but for others, it’s rare or something they don’t experience at all. Dissociation may be voluntary (you might “shut down” to protect yourself if someone is yelling or if you have a disturbing memory), or it can be involuntary. A lot of people can tell when they are vulnerable to dissociation and then can take steps to help themselves stay mindfully present. This may be a way to help prevent dissociation or shorten the duration of dissociative episodes.
“Grounding” refers to a set of strategies that can help us to cope more effectively with whatever is happening inside or outside of us. If you are someone who is familiar with the skills from dialectical behavior therapy, you may already know about some of these ideas.
Here are some ideas to help you ground yourself with your five senses:
Taste
• Tasting something warm like an herbal tea may be soothing.
• Or you could use something cold like a popsicle, ice, or a frozen drink (like a Slurpee or an Icee).
• You might also decide to ground with something that tastes sour or bitter (a lemon wedge or a piece of sour candy could help).
Touch
• Holding or petting your dog or cat may help you to feel “real” and in control.
• You could also touch something that is soothing (a favorite river rock or a photograph of someone you love).
• Massage your scalp.
• Go barefoot outside.
• Sometimes heat helps people. If you have a heating pad or a hot water bottle, you could try that as a way of grounding yourself.
• Using a weighted blanket might be another way for you to feel safe and cope with dissociation.
Scent or Smell
• What is a perfume or scent that makes you happy? Now is the time to use it.
• You can make your entire home smell like a French or Spanish garden if you drop a little lavender oil in a pot of simmering water.
• Baking cookies or bread can also create a relaxing and soothing aroma.
• Go outside and smell the air. Can you smell the grass? Can you tell if it’s about to rain or snow?
Sound
• Listen to music that makes you happy at full volume. (Check out these songs if you need ideas.)
• Call someone who has a soothing voice and talk to them for five minutes.
• Sing loudly.
• Put on your headphones or earbuds and listen to a podcast about DBT. (Don’t do anything else. Just listen.)
• Go to a quiet room or shut off any potential sources of noise. Allow yourself to be quiet for a few moments.
Sight or Vision
• Find pretty Instagram accounts or start an Instagram account where you collect relaxing images.
• Look at old photographs that create feelings of happiness and connection.
• Watch videos of baby animals playing. (Corgi videos increase my happiness.)
• Paint or color. Create something pretty now.
Movement
• Jump on a rebounder or trampoline. (I have a bellicon rebounder in my office. I love it!)
• Use a balance board.
• Practice gentle stretching.
• Do a headstand.
• Run up and down your stairs as quickly as you can.
• Stomp your feet—hard.
• Practice progressive muscle relaxation.
Want more? Check out these resources about BPD and DBT:
• Seven Self-Help Ideas for BPD
• Changing Your Emotions with Music
• Coping Statements for Self-Harming Behaviors
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